John Travolta Is Not Gay

Look, I really don’t see what the big deal is here. So John Travolta is boarding his private jet while planting a strong, powerful man-kiss onto the mouth of some dude with a desperate passion known only to wives whose husbands have been away at war for six or seven years. Form your own conclusions, but this is the 90’s, you know - things are different now. Also, he’s a Scientologist.

One question, though - in the highly unlikely circumstance that John Travolta were to be gay, would he be considered a bear?

BWE EXCLUSIVE: John Mayer Puts Down Guitar, Stands Up

When John Mayer dropped by Chappelle’s Show during its second season you couldn’t help but gain a new respect for the man. Sure, his lyrics to “Your Body Is A Wonderland” were funny; but seeing him hold his own with Dave made you realize that John could be intentionally funny as well.

So how funny is John, exactly? Well, if you’re in New York you can find out tonight. I was just tipped off by an anonymous BWE comedian (okay, it was Sherrod Small) that John is dropping by The Comedy Cellar tonight to try his hand at stand-up comedy. He’ll be hitting up the 11 o’clock show; so if you’re a hot, young female fan you should leave your boyfriend at home and head on down to MacDougal Street and check it out.

That last part was Sherrod’s idea, of course.

Keep reading us: